Why this outfit? Once upon a time, I got a compliment on these jeans at Boudin Bakery by the cashier girl. Why this pose? I’m readjusting my invisible crown! 😉
Hello, it’s Melanie. I was in my Business Law class on Tuesday when the girl in front of me came in late. She wore a leopard print faux fur jacket, long pink acrylic nails, a low bun, and had seemingly flawless makeup. I looked at her in awe for a few seconds as she rushed to her seat. My eyes were glued to her jacket for the majority of class and I couldn’t resist looking at her glossy pink opalescent nails every time they passed my view. I wanted to compliment her jacket but internally struggled to decide when and what to say. Should I tap on her shoulder and tell her? Or would that be weird? Do I tell her when there’s a quiet opening in lecture? I don’t want to be a distraction. These are the thoughts of someone who has social anxiety. I decided that I should just tell her when I’m leaving class. I simply told her, “I like your jacket.” And she responded with a quiet and indifferent, “Thank you.” Then I started questioning myself. Did she not appreciate the compliment? Or is she like me, and sometimes fails to show thoughtful appreciation, despite dying inside at receiving a compliment from a fellow girl? So now, I’m thinking about the connection between clothes and compliments. I can remember every compliment that I’ve received on articles of clothing similar to how an elementary student remembers the pledge of allegiance. The memory of compliments or the pledge of allegiance seems to hold less significance every time it is replayed, or in the case of the pledge, recited. In business, there is the concept of marginal utility. It is defined as, “the additional satisfaction a consumer gains from consuming one more unit of a good or service.” If this notion was applied to the case of clothing compliments, one gains less satisfaction as the frequency of compliments increases. How do you think your perception of yourself would change if you were to receive thousands of compliments daily for a year, and then suddenly your compliment jar was empty for the next year? Do you think it would be worse if it was vice versa? Wherein one has never received a compliment in his or her life, only to suddenly be graciously smothered in compliments? A compliment in itself should not matter, but it does. Someone liking what you wear shouldn’t grant one certainty in oneself, but it does, even if it is just for a few brief seconds. How do I receive a compliment, treat it with the correct ratio of indifference and care, and then tuck it safely into my memory? When someone cares too much about a compliment they receive, they are seen as attention-thriving and insecure. On the other hand, when one does not care at all, they are seen as egotistical and lack humility. And then one has to worry about where to put that compliment when he or she receives it. Do I share the compliment with others? Or do I keep it to myself? I’ll be the first to admit that a compliment can make me happier than free Chipotle after a long gym session. I’ll also admit that I have the tendency to wear certain articles of clothing more when someone has shown appreciation for it. Does that make me flimsy to the word-whims of others? Or does that make me care about how others feel? I’d like to think I don’t care about the opinion of others, but I know deep down, I always will. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with caring about others’ opinions. If everyone lacked care for other’s thoughts, our world would be a much more miserable place. However, when one starts dressing for compliments, instead of self-expression, clothing can seem like a vain tool for building while simultaneously destroying one’s self-esteem. I’m trying to be more conscious of how I interpret a compliment in terms of how I view myself and my style and I hope this helped you too. Here’s to treating compliments with the same delicate nature we show our furry creatures. But maybe don’t call your random giver-of-compliment “baby” like you do with your dog or cat. Maybe.
Melanie T / MelT
melt fashion 